Super Hamster: Curse of the Kooky Cult

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Super Hamster (v1.0)
HamsterTitle.gif

Release type: Shareware
Release date: ~1992-1993
Levels: 12
Author: James W. Morris
Website: JamesWMorris.com
Related games: ?

FULL ENTRY COMING SOON!





A game designed somewhere around 1992 or 1993. Images and captions taken from James W. Morris's Flickr channel.

The whole game is pretty confusing, but the fifth level is particularly so. I'm not sure if anyone would be able to get through it without exploiting the engine to pop through blocks or forcing the character the wrong way through one-way backgrounds.

Story

This is the arcade part of the disco level. You might ask why there is a large arcade in the disco. And further, why is the tiny headed woman dancing on the games? There are answers to these questions, and many others.

Super Hamster: Curse of the Kooky Cult

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a 60% chance of heavy thundershowers just north of the city. The city would be Redwood, CA. The year is 2039 ad. Deep in the heart of the anemic metropolis was the mecca for freaky refugees of a bygone era. It was Don's Disco Inferno. And this seemingly innocent establishment is where we set our scene.

Don's had been a site of much trouble over the years. From the day that Big Daddy Don broke ground on its construction until this very day it had been plagued by an omnipresent Phantom of the Disco. This deformed disco dancer donned a dainty disguise in the form of a porcelain mask covering the disfigured portion of his face. During construction of the dance hall he snuck into the sewers and fashioned a secret lair for himself. From there he would make demands of the disco manager and smote him with the punjab lasso if the demands were not met. (the punjab being a lasso that smote people who used puns too frequently hence the name Pun-Jab)

This is from the arcade portion of the disco level. It looks like everyone is having a good time.

The phantom was content while the family that owned the disco suffered. Soon they had so little money they had to send the youngest of the kids to be the new manager. When they no longer could afford to supply the phantom with his every whim he got ticked off. He then threatened to smote Don the epileptic bartender/manager. Don fearing for his life called the Pentagram in Washington D.C. (okay he over reacted just a little) George Bush, secretary of defense and petroleum jelly immortal, found that there was someone on the pentagram payroll in the city of Redwood. It was of course Super Hamster, defender of the um, well, er, we'll just leave it at defender.

Hamster.gif

When Super Hamster's girlfriend Mindy heard that he was going to the inferno she had to go and try out her latest disco steps. Since S.H. didn't expect much trouble he figured they could have some fun at a human club and get paid for it to boot. So with that they were off.

This is the part of the disco level where you pass the giant lava lamp only to be confronted by an enormous laughing head connected to the wall by a pipe. The head doesn't actually do anything. It just laughs. In many ways it is a testament to our humanity.

Meanwhile somewhere in Redwood

A tall insect like creature scowled at a blurred image on the wall. He was relatively sure that it was the daughter of King Nestor he was seeing but it was so many years since he last saw her and she had taken so many forms he just couldn't be sure. She was a fat old gypsy woman sitting on a park bench talking to herself. That in itself was not uncommon. What was uncommon was when she would argue with herself, no, with her crystal ball, and it would argue back with words printed across its surface.

Now there could be no doubt. Madame Roseallini was in fact the long lost princess of Plankton therefore her father must be in the crystal ball. (okay maybe its a little of a stretch). Convinced that his quarry had been found he called together the kooky cult to assemble tonight at the secret meeting place. He also summoned Darko the kooky sage who was the head honcho of the cult. He needed him to do a little favor.

With everything in place the giant bug prepared the visions and broadcast them over time\space into the murky sky above.

Back to the original plot

This motley crew was the NPC cast that populated the disco level. Here you see the disco chicken, the debutante, the douche bag, the slut, the woman with a tiny head, and the African-American Elvis impersonator. All the usual sorts you'd expect to find at a night club.

Upon arriving at the disco Mindy and S.H. didn't see anything out of the ordinary so Mindy began to dance while S.H. laughed at her. But unbeknownst to them, the phantom saw the dance and became infatuated with our hoofing heroine. When Mindy was through making a fool of herself with disco gyrations she and S.H. sat on the catwalk. Surveying the situation Mindy commented.

MINDY- The french would hate this

SH-Mindy!

MINDY- You know its true. they'd say look at zeez zilly americanz doing zere zilly danze hough hough hough pazz me zome wine.

SH- Thank you for alienating an entire ethnic group of our audience.

MINDY- We have an audience?

SH- I certainly hope so.

MINDY- Wow, what a nifty development. Mayhaps I should woo them back with a gratuitous display of female stuff.

This is near the end of the Disco level. You have to jump on the heads of the women to reach the guy up above. And then kill him. This is much like the events that transpire in a real disco.

SH- We're talking about the French Minderelli, try a subdued waif like androgynous display

MINDY- S.H., I don't want no more of the crying game.

SH- You and me both my little gelatin mold.

Suddenly Mindy begins to vocalize strangely as the plot gets more and more extravagant

MINDY- At night

he was on TV
I saw him
and was not the same
that leisure suit
This is the epic confrontation with an inter-dimensional diety. You climb up his body, and as you approach his head, he spits jellyfish type things at you. You can fight him if you want, or you can just walk by him. Now that's some open-ended, gameplay, just like GTA!
still calls to me
though devoid of brand name
But will
he dance again?
Would he be kind?
The Phantom of the Disco
is there-
in my orange rind

SH- Okay mindy thats one too many orangy squeezy zima umbrella drinks for you. By the way why were you singing about John Travolta?

PHANTOM- Dance once

again with me
In this part of the mountain level you leap over one of the ubiquitous pits full of spikes, only to be confronted by a deadly mountain lion on the other side. Fortunately, I could never get the mountain lion to move correctly. So he just stands there and growls. But if you walk directly into him, he'll kill you alright!
my fluffy
pet...
your grace
in platform shoes
gets better
yet...
and while
you still deny
that I am real
The Phantom of the Disco
is there-
inside your orange peel.
Here our hero confronts a hooligan from another world. Who will be the victor? Building the 3 tile tall bad guys proved to be a ginormous headache, but in the end it worked out alright.

SH- woah this is getting really weird.

In the light of a hundred lava lamps at chernobyl the phantom appears and beckons to Mindy. She rises and moves slowly toward him in a trance-like state. She glances back at S.H. to say.

MINDY- Disco is dead snookums. where did you think I learned all those moves.

PHANTOM- Come my angel of disco.

MINDY- I'm coming, I'm coming don't get your cape in a knot.

SH- Did I miss something?

MINDY- Yeah you never did find out who killed Laura Palmer did you? See ya later honey bunches of oats.

With that the phantom wrapped his cape around her and they both disappeared. S.H. considered what a nifty trick that was. But soon he got to the matter at hand, was his girlfriend just kidnapped? And if so does this mean that in his first video game he's already stuck in the least imaginative video game plot device ever devised. After a few therapy sessions he came to terms that this was a mundane rescue the princess type plot and he set off to find the entrance to the phantom's lair.

This is part of the mountain level where you get an extra life from Santa Claus and cross the collapsing rope bridge. Thanks Santa!

Somewhere in Redwood

Yes we've returned to the big bug guy. He readies the list of the 7 artifacts of the facilitator. Then sends it to the daughter of Nestor in a psychic vision. Promising her the defeat of her nemesis on delivery of the totems. She is told that they are an integral part of a ritual to destroy Zealos (pronounced zEElowZ). Immediately she begins trying to find the hamster to whisk him to her caravan. They have much to talk about indeedy.

The Phantom's Lair

Deep in the sewers the phantom makes his home. He takes Mindy through the sludgy rivers to a chamber full of lava lamps on sticks. He leads her onto the hard wood floor and gazes into her eyes.

PHANTOM- Are we having fun yet?

MINDY- Ack! you've pluralized me!

In this scene our hero escapes from two patriotic eagles as the sun looks on, stoic and eternal.

PHANTOM- No no no I meant are you and I having fun yet.

MINDY- Then you should have said that, I don't feel comfortable enough in this relationship to make a pronoun with you.

PHANTOM- Stop the insanity!

MINDY- tee hee

PHANTOM- what?

MINDY- You sound just like that bald chick on TV. Only you have a higher voice.

PHANTOM- Blah Blah! I suppose I have to get all hypnotic again.

Slowly, Gently, Night unfurls its splendor.
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender.
One of the levels of the game had you switch characters and play on a hoverboard. I was actually pretty happy with the mechanics, but the level itself wasn't put together very well. Here our hoverboarding hero scoots up through a sewer pipe toward some gleaming cubes.
Turn your face away from the garish light of day.
Turn your thoughts away from the cold unfeeling light,
and listen to the music of the...
Night Fever Night Fever

As the chamber errupts with disco medelies the phantom extends his hand to Mindy

PHANTOM- Come on babe lets boogie

MINDY- It's a stupid plot, so sue us.

Meanwhile in the Disco

S.H. approaches the bar and takes a seat, which he deftly falls out of, landing on his face.

BARTENDER- Those stools are ergonomically self correcting, molded with a thousand wave table samples of the human buttocks. Your stumpy tail must have thrown it off, or made it throw you off as the case may be.

This is the entrance to the TV station level. There is a horrifying phantasm in the upper left corner.

SH- yeah that's funny stuff. But enough of this banter, how is it you know so much about samples of the human buttock?

BARTENDER- I'm Don the epileptic bartender, I manage the place.

SH- ah so your Don, well, the name's Hamster Super Hamster My friends call me Friskey You can call me Ray or you can call me Jay. Why do they call you Don the epiletic bartender

DON- Because my name is Donald and I tend bar and I have conditional epilepsy.

SH- conditional?

DON- yeah I only have a seizure when I hear the name C-H-A-R-L-E-S-R-I-C-H-T-E-R.

SH- You realize of course that I now must say it.

This is from the TV Station level where our hero confronts a Bob Ross impersonator and must flip his blinking beacon from red to green. Why? I don't remember exactly.

DON- of course

SH- No offense intended

DON- None taken

SH- Charles Richter

After a spectacular seizure Don regains composure

DON- I seem to have wet myself.

SH- Get back into life with depends. But enough of this fun and fits. Do you know anything about the hidden lair of the Phantom of the disco? I think he kidnapped my significant other.

DON- Yeah it's in the sewer right beneath here.

SH- thanx, one more thing, is that the village people I hear

In the TV station level you confront "Blarney" the drunken Irish dinosaur. Do you see what I did there with "Barney" and "the Irish"? Funny stuff.

DON- Yeah, why?

SH- Oh nothing, I used to have nightmares that the indian was coming to eat me.

DON- He likes to be called the native american now.

SH- geez but I hate political correctness.

DON- who doesn't?

SH- Barney, but I digress.

DON- I guess that's all the exposition I can help with.

SH- I think not, I need to borrow you for a second.

With that our fearless furball carried Don over to a weak spot in the illuminated floor and, holding him by the ankles in jackhammer position, said

In this level you have to run along a "scaffold" with a bunch of painted lanterns and jump over some jets of exploding gas. The background is... distracting.

SH- Charles Richter With that Don began gyrating wildly and tearing through the floor while S.H. guided him. Eventually he penetrated the stone walls of the sewer and made a spiffy entrance to the Phantom's lair.

SH- Thanks for all the help Donny

DON- don't mention it

SH- I'm gonna scoot back up to the catwalk now.

DON- The catwalk, but why? Shouldn't you go to the lair, especially after using my head as an entrenching device.

SH- I would but after this excruciatingly long opening I think the good people want a couple of stages before they have to read again so I'll just come back down through the disco again.

DON- Okay, and thank you for all your help.

SH- your welcome, um, what help?

DON- I don't know, I guess I got one to many whacks on the strobe light if you know what I mean.

SH- I'm sure I don't but I'm sure it's something special. And remember your a special person! Have an extra special day, from your friend

S U P E R H A M S T E R

Instructions

Use the numeric keypad (keep num lock on) to control the various characters that appear in the game. You can use a joystick if you have one by calibrating with F9 and then toggling it on with F8. I'll just include the keyboard instructions here, refer to the complete instruction guide for Joystick commands.

SHamster-PopCult.png

S.H.

Right Arrow (6)= Walk Right
Left Arrow (4)= Walk Left
Up Arrow (8)= Jump Up
Down Arrow (2)= Crouch
(7)= Jump left
(9)= Jump right
(1)= Crawl left
(3)= Crawl right
(space bar)= shoot (high)
(s)= shoot (low)
(h)= release Hillary Clinton
(q)= Do a little dance
(t)= a useless but fun button

Chad (easy)

Right arrow (6)= Skate Right
Left arrow (7)= Skate Left
Up arrow (8)= hover up
Down arrow (2)= crouch
(7)= Hover left
(9)= Hover right
(1)= Slide left
(3)= Slide Right
(J)= Jump up

Chad (hard)

Right arrow (6)= Kick Right
Left arrow (7)= Kick Left
Up arrow (8)= hover up
(7)= Hop left
(9)= Hop right
(1)= Slide left
(3)= Slide right
(J)= Jump up

Stages

Here our hero runs through a sewer full of bombs on skateboards. This is a plausible threat. Is that a kitten on the right side of the screen?

Now that you know how to control yourself I think we should move right along to the stages... shall we? lets.

Stage 1: Don's Disco Inferno

The object of this stage is to get from the catwalk down to the convenient opening to the sewer at the ground floor. Very few enemies actually attack you in this stage so shoot them for target practice this stage builds your skills controlling S.H. Power ups are in mood rings.

Stage 2: The Phantom's lair

Now that your in the phantom's lair it's just a matter of finding Mindy and escaping with her. Hey There she is! But there's a wall between you so you'd better find another route to the phantom's inner sanctum. The bad guys are faster and smaller but aren't very dangerous. Power ups are in crystal balls

Stage 3: The Mountains of Redwood

This is a rare example of a "boss fight" from the game. You had to defeat the TV executive, who is protected by a "force field" (The line in front of him). His desk is really really huge.

These hills are alive with giant insects wearing togas. Your objective is to get the necrotic tissue for Madame Roseallini. Unfortunately it's at the top and your at the bottom, so start climbing buster. The enemies are a little bigger and meaner here. Watch out for the invisible buffalo. Power ups are in snowballs

Stage 4: Chad's sewer adventure.

Chad (in either easy or hard mode) must navigate through the sewers on his hoverboard in search of the lost disco ball. Don't worry so much about bad guys.. because there aren't any. But beware the waste treatment grinders that will tear you to shreds in a second. Powerups are in gleaming cubes

Stage 5: Channel 10

This is a three part level. First your in the sound stage, you have to visit each show to get it's security code (touch the pole with the green light so it turns green) and then, and only then, can you pass through the security gate that leads to the executive lounge. Be alert, some of the sets are hidden, so be on the look out for 5 different shows. Once in the executive lounge you have to find the key card that disarms the force field guarding mogul Aaron Mispelling's office. Once you have it, take the elevator up and be prepared to face aaron and his droid in a fight for the shroud of Dick Clark. Power ups are in TV's

Power Ups

The Super Hamster Logo:

It will increase your score.

Hearts:

These increase your hit points

Pictures of the character:

An extra life!

Purple hearts:

3-5 Extra Lives!!!

Any money like thing:

MONEY!

Note

Um, hello there person Just a few things you should know before you get started... The voice files won't work on a few computers. If you get music and no voice yours may be one of them. I'll see if it can't be fixed in the next version. If you get no music but voices or neither it may be your driver so try that in config.

This game will work suckily on a 486sx with 4 megs

Okay on a 486sx with 8 megs

Better on anything higher a Pentium with 32 megs is nice Anyway if the animations break up occasionally its a memory thing, all I can say is get a faster computer.

Or make a boot disk, that will Help. All you need is a clean boot with your soundcard and you have all you need for the game. If you want a joystick and it has to be loaded go ahead.

I wouldn't recommend going below a 486 with 8 megs because the game will run slow. Even with 8 megs it might jam up at one part and go into slow motion and sorta freeze for a minute or so. Wait it out, after it happens once it won't happen again. (at least it shouldn't) If you notice any other bugs let me know so I can try and address them.

Credits

Um, I did this...

yeah...

Oh yeah this isn't the really real version of the game. You may notice money doesn't do anything. The game is kinda short. And you can't play as Mindy. (I'm sure all these missing things have haunted you since you first loaded this game.)

Anyhoo for the final level of episode 1 and episode 2 when it comes out all you have to do is register with Hamsterware. to do that just send five measly dollars along with your names and address and any comments you may have.

As soon as the final levels are complete (they may be now) you will get the registered version of Super Hamster. In the meantime you will get a copy of Crystal Mania 4 (Another fine Hamsterware game) and a disk full of goodies. If you like the game please register. If not I beg you to tear it from your hard drive bodily and burn it with some handy kerosene. If you like it and don't register then I will frown on you and the pants goblins under your bed will steal all your pants and you will be embarrassed. Plus I'll make sure you never get the registered version, Crystal Mania 4, or goodies. And I'll use your unnicities to see to it that you never become President.

Thank you and have a nice day

Hugs N' Kisses

Links

Downloads

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