by [name redacted]

Originally published in some form by Next Generation. Doesn’t seem to be up anymore, and I don’t remember if anything was changed.

Xbox marketing chief Peter Moore has done his job well enough, declaring the 360 launch catalog the “best lineup in history”. Of course, most people see through at least this level of hubris. Just for fun, though, let’s take a stroll through the lineup and see just how it adds together.

A quick glance will show four main categories of software: new games actually developed with the hardware in mind; pared-down PC ports; spruced-up console ports; and the prettiest versions of this year’s disposable sports games.

The first category can be further subdivided into original (or mostly original) games and the latest sequel in a string of sequels, that just happens to be developed for the 360 instead of some other system. This latter subdivision sits somewhere between categories one and four. Since these games don’t necessarily come out every year just for the sake of coming out every year, and again since they are 360 exclusives, we might as well lump them in with the real games.

We’ll start with the most relevant category.

ACTUAL XBOX 360 SOFTWARE:

• Perfect Dark Zero – Rare/Microsoft Game Studios
• Kameo: Elements of Power – Rare/Microsoft Game Studios
• Condemned: Criminal Origins – Monolith Productions/Sega
• Project Gotham Racing 3 – Bizarre Creations/Microsoft Game Studios
• Ridge Racer 6 – Namco/Namco
• Amped 3 – Indie Built/2K Sports

Typically when a “big” game comes around, consumer gaming publications cease to be of much use. Even the relatively even-headed GameSpot gets carried away this time, saying “it’s tempting to put Perfect Dark Zero into perspective…” then spending 500 words describing explosions and the accuracy of gun models. Even when the review gets to design details, they’re just presented as details, spat out with such enthusiasm that it’s hard to decide what they mean.

Suffice it that Perfect Dark is the one game, if any, that Microsoft, the gaming press, and the audience of each, is counting on to legitimize the 360 at launch. Much as with Halo four years ago, it is purported to be one of the most advanced first-person shooters yet made, at least in those little details that matter if you care about first-person shooters. If anything this game has more enthusiasm behind it because it is the sequel to the unofficial follow up to what was once the only competent first-person shooter on a game console. That’s almost like being Super Mario Bros. 3, to a certain cast of gamer. Mostly, the kind who likes both first-person shooters and consoles. And that’s the market Microsoft’s been chasing after, the last four years.

Kameo, meanwhile, is the closest thing to an original game to launch with the 360. It’s a platformy adventure game of the type that littered the N64 in troves, mostly thanks to Rare. As with Perfect Dark it tries to do some new things within that template. Principle mechanics involve turning into various beasts, each useful for certain situations. Instead of jumping, exactly, the main character flies, sort of. Overall it looks and feels like a British game that wants to look and feel like a Japanese game. You know how it goes. Most Xbox buyers, manly men that they are, aren’t interested in a fairy girl who turns into an armadillo. The game’s gotten pretty good ratings, though, and it looks familiar and expensive enough to comfort 360 owners looking for something new to play when the release list goes thin in a couple of months.

Condemned was the first Xbox 360 game shown to public; in most people’s memory it is that game where you hit people over and over with a locker door. Developed by F.E.A.R. And No One Lives Forever 2 developer Monolith, that’s… pretty much the game in a nutshell. It’s Doom 3 with blunt instruments, placed in a modern setting. The two main draws here are in the very lifelike well-animated enemies and in the idea that you can pick up pretty much anything and use it to beat people to death. Since that’s what videogames are about, of course. Although this game does seem cynically aimed at Microsoft’s audience, no one seems to be paying much attention to it. That doesn’t stop if from getting respectable review scores, typically in the low 80s.

By most accounts Project Gotham is really amazing to look at, and plays exactly like the earlier games, which themselves were basically just enhancements on Metropolis Street Racer for the Dreamcast. Still, the Gotham name holds a lot of water with Microsoft’s audience – almost as much as Halo. And no one’s buying the 360 for novel game experiences, so this should do pretty well.

Ridge Racer, though – that’s Sony’s series. More, the previous game came out five years ago and was not very well-received. This sixth game is purported to be much better. It’s got style, and is indeed rather stylized and charming compared to Gotham. Microsoft’s audience doesn’t care, though. It’s not as known a quantity. There’s room for a slow burn here, though; for every person who buys Gotham there will be the time for another driving game, and Ridge Racer will be both reasonably well-regarded and cheaper by then.

With Amped 3, the familiarity continues; the original Amped launched with the Xbox four years ago. It and its sequel did pretty well, although after EA’s NFL hullabaloo a while ago Microsoft saw fit to dump its sports division onto Take-Two’s shoulders. That included the portion of Microsoft Game Studios that had once been Under a Killing Moon developer Access Software, which happened to be the same team behind the Amped series.

Nevertheless, here’s a sequel, waiting obediently. People aren’t noticing it too much. It’s getting so-so ratings, in the early 70s. This might be a third game for some people, just because of the name.

Altogether, that makes six actual Xbox 360 games. Although that doesn’t sound like much compared to the hypothetical eighteen games available, none of them are poor and by both typical and technical standards several of them are darned well. Were this the extent of the launch list, it would be a small and respectable nugget for what it is. Nintendo’s systems frequently ship with less.

The next category ain’t that bad, either.

PC PORTS:

• Call of Duty 2 – Infinity Ward/Activision
• Quake 4 – Raven/Activision

Both of these are PC games, really, and the PC versions will be superior in both presentation and interface – though who has a PC setup capable of running them? Call of Duty is a solid game, respectable on its own right – though not much changed over its predecessor. Indeed, it’s perceived as one of the real winners of the launch lineup. Most people seem to rank it after Perfect Dark as the most appealing launch game.

Quake is another game that people seem to be ignoring. The perception seems to be that it’s been done before.

Although everyone knew console versions were coming, and the 360 editions were developed along side, these aren’t really 360 games. They aren’t even really console games. Still, by being developed for even more powerful hardware, they take advantage of the 360 just as well as games meant for it from the outset. And heck, PC ports and co-developments are practically the bread and butter of the original Xbox – so there’s nothing new here. Beyond that, they get an easy pass because this is the closest a lot of people will get to playing the “ideal” version of these games.

What is harder to accept is the next category.

CONSOLE PORTS:

• Peter Jackson’s King Kong – Ubisoft/Ubisoft
• Need for Speed Most Wanted – EA Canada/Electronic Arts
• Gun – Neversoft/Activision
• Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland – Neversof/Activision

Each of these is a PS2 game, given a right good polish. They don’t belong on a system that’s fighting to prove it has something new and interesting to say – and the 360 needs all the help it can get.

That is not to suggest that the games are in themselves poor; as current-generation games, at least three of them are ambitious and actually rather interesting. As next-generation games, they’re filler and they’re a distraction.

It’s one thing to buy the Xbox version to get a higher framerate and faster loading. It’s another to pretend that they warrant release on 2005’s new miracle system that will split mountains to find you gold.

Finally, there are these things:

THIS YEAR’S OBLIGATORY SPORTS RELEASES:

• NBA 2K6 – Visual Concepts/2K Sports
• NHL 2K6 – Kush Games, Visual Concepts/2K Sports
• FIFA 06: Road to the World Cup – EA Canada/Electronic Arts
• Madden NFL 06 – EA Tiburon/Electronic Arts
• NBA Live 06 – EA Canada/Electronic Arts
• Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06 – Electronic Arts/Electronic Arts

There’s no escaping them. They hardly raise the tone of the place, though.

Anyway. You see the most basic problem. Out of eighteen games, eight are maybe worth paying attention to; six of those actually have something to do with the system itself; two or three are actually original in some sense, and none of them actually provide any demonstration for what the system has to offer over current hardware, or even hardware of two generations ago, aside from how pretty everything looks.

Had Oblivion not been delayed until the middle of next year, maybe then we would have something to talk about. As it stands, most of the demo kiosks I’ve seen are running the 360 version of King Kong.

Basically, the launch is about Perfect Dark – and that’s due to name value and hype more than anything. The rest is noise. Some of it is respectable noise. Some of it just makes the system look more ridiculous than it needs to. People will by some of the other games, out of boredom. They don’t really want them, though. Not particularly. What people are buying is potential. They’re investing in the idea that something amazing is going to appear sooner or later, and give them something to do with their fancy new systems.

They will be rewarded eventually, as all early adopters are – though a few might wonder why they didn’t wait another six months or a year. A few might wonder that by next Monday.