by [name redacted]
Although the concept got an enthusiastic approval, the officially published article was toned down a bit. Fair enough. But there’s no holding back Peter Molyneux. So here this is.
On Friday, the syrupy and gracious Mr. Molyneux held a session to show off his half-complete mega-opus, Fable 2. There are, however, a few problems in covering the session, in that a valiant effort in spin control has stifled what Molyneux can actually discuss. Most of what he was left to reveal, therefore, had already been revealed at an earlier keynote. The rest of the material was generally familiar from a much smaller press gathering a year ago, at which Molyneux personally served cookies to all interested parties. Which was… mostly this writer.
Nevertheless, in lieu of actual information, one can always rely on Molyneux himself as a topic of interest. Let us, then, revisit the session and stroke our chins to the form, if not the content, of Molyneux’s message. Since most of these quotes are more fun out-of-context, the explanations have all been spoiler-tagged. Highlight to reveal.
10 – Regarding the new female avatar: “The engine isn’t finished. Her buttocks are wrong.”
9 – Regarding the newly dynamic world: “There is an acorn, and it is a golden acorn. We’re taking acorns to the next level.”
8 – Regarding the practical benefits of one-button combat: “Just press the blue bloody button and get on with it!”
7 – Regarding families: “Having a little child run out and you say, ‘oh, that’s just lovely, isn’t it’ – that’s part of the drama.”
6 – Regarding full life consequences: “This time I’m going to make it really tough to be good. Truly being good is all about sacrifice. How much are you going to sacrifice to do good?”
5 – Regarding a range of combat beyond pressing the bloody button: “Even more… I was going to say ‘fucking’. Can I say ‘fucking’? Oh what the hell, I’ll say ‘fucking’. Even more fucking cool is combining that with magic.”
4 – Regarding the watered-down sex in the game: “It’s you Americans. There’s something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we’d be romping around naked on the stage here.”
3 – Regarding the slim heads-up display: “Mini-maps are shit. They’re shit because you make these multimillion-dollar games, and people play them staring at these little dots.”
2 – Regarding playing as a woman: “I keep finding myself rejected by men, which is a new experience for me.”
1 – And promises, promises: “Pull the right trigger to see The Most Interesting Thing in the World.”
BONUS SEMI-QUOTE: Regarding body model warping during pregnancy, the term “Big wobbly water bags”.