bit by tiny bit i continue to organize and clean and tidy and claim this tiny space where i have spent most of the last year holed up, overwhelmed by misery and pain

as one does

so far i’ve:

• cleared away a year of depressive detritus
• rotated the bed 90° and slotted it to the far corner
• created space by tetrising around the endtables and other surfaces
• measured space to move my (fortunately tiny, if heavy) computer desk in here
• organized the electrical sockets
• moved my yoga mat and other neglected self-care tools in here
• provisionally organized what-goes-where with my makeup, jewelry, accessories, perfumes, meds, vitamins, effects
• gotten all my roommate’s clothes out of my closet
• found a functional place for, and gathered up dirty clothes into, a hamper
• compiled a list of big and little room-tasks to gradually check off when i have the energy

though not part of my bedroom, today i scrubbed the absolutely gross bathroom sink—then i brought the supplies in here and cleaned about half the hard surfaces before i was wheezing and sweating like rain

next i’ll finish with the rest of the surfaces, then hang or otherwise put away all the loose clothes flopped on the ugly wire racks that my roommate for some reason put in here

then i’ll hand-wash my panties and socks and other “simple” articles in the bathtub and hang them to dry on those racks

that’s end of phase two, i think—phase one being roughly the second skeet above

stage three involves beating out the throw rugs, vacuuming the floor, finding somewhere else to put those ugly racks (maybe the back of the closet, if they fit), and seeing if i can move my bookshelves and desk in here

wave four will be about the nuance; all the little functional and atmospheric tweaks that help to sculpt this space into an environment that helps to support my personal manners and methods and structural needs again

so that i no longer feel like i’m drowning, totally lacking in agency, as i have this last year