i had to receive a strange person today
one bearing a new pharmacological dose
to avert needless questions and shows of dismay
the azure reluctantly chose to wear clothes
it seems i can still be a person at times
for all of the effort it takes
god kelly messed me up
as to why, it’s—
okay, most relationships break down because of poor communication, right?
that was part of it, but in some rabid digivolved form.
our basic difference was ideological, dealing with our understanding of the fabric of the world and our roles in it.
i talk about how she viewed every human interaction as, rather, a transaction on some level.
more to the point, though: kelly views information as currency, to save or spend tactically to further some end.
to me that’s like treating water, air, food, shelter as a for-profit commodity. water, air, food, shelter are non-negotiable biological needs, that keep our bodies alive. information though is what gives us agency. it’s what permits us to make decisions, to act, to grow our own healthy individual perspective. it’s a fundamental prerequisite to liberty.
to me it is anathema to withhold or obstruct knowledge without desperate cause.
she never stopped acting bewildered at how much “content” i “gave away” “for free”—in reference to, well, things like the words right here. to the art and writing and music i do, but most directly and especially to how much i say to others openly, how the moment i understand a thing i explain it.
take that difference of perspective, and extrapolate it to all its fractal recursive conclusions
that was the key friction between us
i don’t see how a thing like that could be reconciled, without one of us changing who we are on an atomic level. and i’m certainly not turning landlord on knowledge
…
i mean yes, you can pay for my albums on bandcamp if you want
but also you can just listen to them endlessly if you’d rather
i’m not interested in coercing any kind of behavior; that is the start of everything i know is wrong
our decisions are our own to make, for our own reasons and judgment
my brain is still in “uk-whuk” stun after a video on my youtube subs the other day
took a while to figure out what was going on, who this was, and why they were in my space, but
an old very-online steven universe fan who spoke about autism has wiped their socials and decided to be an open nazi now
they were embarrassed over being “cringe” in their twenties and wanted to distance themself entirely from their old persona and their old ideas about why they were the way they are—so they made a choice to pivot and rebrand and talk about how obvious “race science” is when you stop pretending and really think about it
i had a flicker of a thought to reply with something like, “just happening to be autistic is ‘cringe’ but consciously choosing to be a nazi isn’t?”
instead i unsubscribed, and deleted their posts from my viewing history.
in 2025 you still can’t really block youtube channels, so that’ll have to do.
if you’re familiar with the steven universe fan ecosystem of seven years ago, then yes—it’s exactly who it sounds like.
my head can’t help picking away at this continuously as some low-level process taking up my working ram, even though i never knew them personally and kind of gave them wide berth—wide enough a berth that i am more surprised that i’d been subscribed all this time they had gone quiet, than i am by this newest posture they have adopted.
the psychology going on here, what i can unravel from a distance and scant real information, it’s… doing something.
i see… something
okay okay
okay
after three decades, simple things are starting to make sense to me
(as they will do, eventually)
it differs per move per character, so you really need to spend time getting to know a character’s eccentricities,
but generally normal moves will combo across or up move-strengths, but not down
so, like
light kick to medium kick or light to strong or medium to strong—but not strong back to medium or medium back to light, right
and to link them cleanly, generally the time to hit the button for the next move is after the first move connects but before your animation returns you to neutral
so this clip, it’s just a calm down-the-alphabet of lp, lk, mp, mk, hp, hk, leading into her overpowered antiair move once the final normal move launches the opponent
top-to-bottom, left-to right
light, light, medium, medium, heavy, heavy, special move
light leads to light leads to medium leads to medium leads to heavy leads to heavy leads to whatever special move works and makes sense
using this understanding in context is another kettle of cats, but thus is life
