strolling down kings highway
trying to unpack why i keep ending up girlfriend to women (whether trans or cis) with an apparent mountain of unexamined internal misogyny and a case of terminal dude-brain toward relationships and personal accountability.
i mean i’ve also gotten degrees of this shitty attitude from boys—but i kind of expect that, you know? it’s somehow easier to navigate. it’s just right there on the surface, rather than this insidious ickiness that only comes to focus after months of triangulation and correction for doppler effect.
i’m getting so tired of being treated like “the girlfriend (pejorative).”
specifically it’s like they subconsciously see me as a safe outlet for “typical” misogyny they have built up, unable to freely express from years of other experience that has nothing to do with me, more so than transmisogyny as i recognize and understand it.
though i am no scholar on the topic.
shout-out to the oafish therapist who pointed this out with a right chuckle fully ten years ago (plus a couple months)—despite, you know, outward appearances.
i mean he was kind of a dick to say it the way he did, but he wasn’t wrong.
and the dynamic just keeps feeling more transparent with time.