STATEMENT OF INTENT

  • Reading time:6 mins read

That‘s about it. In the original Jet Set Radio, the player had five or six things to think about at any moment. Early on, there were the mechanics to worry about. Then there was a bit of an exploration element. Then there was the goal of the stage — which usually involved finding, accessing, and spraying graffiti on set locations. (The spraying itself was a change of pace, as it involved standing still and entering complex thumbstick gestures — possibly in the midst of an otherwise-chaotic scene.) Then there were the police to worry about. Then there was the strategy of which tags to save for last, to make them easiest to spray on the go while avoiding the cops. Then there were the Graffiti Souls to find and collect — the doing of which was really helpful in teaching the player how the levels were put together. There was the whole performance-scoring mechanic, which encouraged you to complete every level in style, on top of everything else asked of you. Then there was the timer.

The player always had something to think about; it was all about trial-and-error, as one learned how the game thought and how it wanted the player to think — namely, with a fast and ordered chaos. The game was a rush. And if you missed something, you could go back in and play around later.

JSRF reminds me a bit of what JSR is like when it’s beaten; one big city, that you can freely skate around and explore. No danger. No stress. Whatever Graffiti Souls you’ve missed, you now can sort out how to collect. In JSR, that was perhaps the best part of the game — yet part of the reason why that freedom was so rewarding was that I had to earn it. I was fed one piece of the game at a time, and at the end I got to enjoy how everything fit together. Also, the level design was terrific.

The level design in JSRF isn’t as interesting. Beyond that, though, the game… everything’s compartmentalized now. I never have to think. I just wander around through this city, and the game places task after task before me. “Do this”, it says. So I do it. Then I wander. “Now do this”, it tells me. So I do that. Then I wander. “Now you must knock down all of these police” it says. “Now look at this — find a way up to this Graffiti Soul.”

Hell. I…

Did I ever have to fight the police in the first game? They were pretty dangerous. That was kind of the idea, I thought. It was all about running from the cops. They kept the pressure on. Now the only interaction I have is the occasional skit where the game fences me into an arena and I have to defeat a certain number of policemen or tanks or what-have-you to continue.

Now. Come to think of it — since the police aren’t a constant problem, why is the graffiti system so simplified? All one must do now is hit the right trigger, and the graffiti appears. No stopping; no effort. Were the game more action-packed, to the point where it was dangerous to stand still for even a moment, this tradeoff would be helpful. So far, however, that just ain’t the case. Again, all of the game’s elements are now broken up. There’s no timer. There’s no danger. I’m free to wander and spray as I wish. Again, all of the danger is partitioned into these silly skits in between game areas.

Perhaps it is unfair for me to compare this game to its predecessor, as it is clear that it attempts a different dynamic — yet exactly what dynamic is that? It has become a standard exploration-collection platformer, only with even more frustrating wonky controls than the original Jet Set Radio. The only things which seem to really set it apart are its visual and aural style. And even that isn’t up to the standard set by the first game.

The visuals are polished; they’re sleek, and ever-so-slightly more Western in style. Yet although interesting, they lack the quirky charm that so characterized JSR. Although still impressive, they feel kind of bland in comparison. Likewise, the soundtrack — well. I’ll get to Cibo Matto in a moment. I’m not going to get into the Latch Brothers’ contributions. Hideki Naganuma must have had an off day when he wrote the music to this game. There are a few excellent tracks (“The Concept of Love”, “Like a Butterfly” (is that its name?)), yet others seem built out of pieces of familiar tracks from the first game or just… don’t have as much power to them as what he contributed before. There’s a lack of energy here.

As for “Birthday Cake”: I like Cibo Matto. I’m really fond of them. I like this album (Viva! La Woman). I like this song. You all are right to criticize the use of this song in this game. Do not, however, let it taint your concept of Cibo Matto. They are very good.

Not only is this perhaps the least appropriate song to choose for the game; it also got mangled along the way. First, someone at Sega decided to censor it; two phrases were edited out (“I don’t give a flying fuck though!”; “You made the war with the Vietnamese.”), making the song play like a gravel driveway. Then — I don’t know what happened with the compression or the EQ. I guess someone tried to make the song sound “fuller” by scrunching all of the levels together. It just sounds awful, though. It’s hard to listen to.

Yes, the song is shrill in its natural state — yet it is charming as well! It is funny! That has been effectively removed; all that remains is noise.

And again: wow, what a bad choice of a song, anyway. Cibo Matto was perfect. Just not this song.

So. There that is. The game is not awful. It is just mediocre, from what I have seen. As I have said elsewhere, however, I think I could better tolerate an all-out failure. Instead, this game feels like a compromise for the benefit of everyone who didn’t get the original Jet Set Radio. The fallacy there is: those people? They’re not going to get it. Jet Set Radio, on its own power, ain’t a mass-appeal concept. You’re playing to the wrong crowd. If you want to bring people in, you convert them through social engineering. You make them see how hip you are (perhaps through smart marketing and PR). You don’t change, or you’ve wasted everything.

Ah me. My foot is asleep.

Xbox update!

  • Reading time:1 mins read

Knights of the Old Republic is the missing single-player mode of Phantasy Star Online.

Just thought I’d point that out.

GOD, when will it get started? I’m twelve hours in, and the plot has just barely begun to crawl out of its fetal position. Although I still am running around the same town on the same planet, now I have met a Jedi! I’ve accomplished ONE THING. Hooray!

This still is more fun than JSRF, however.

I think I’m in trouble. I really like the article I’m writing. This is never a good sign.

Out of the frying pan, into the SIMULATED COCAINE BUSINESS

  • Reading time:3 mins read

I have an Xbox. It is huge. I’m using it as a platform for my Dreamcast. The main reason I got it is that it came with a bunch of software that I wanted anyway, and which on its collective own, even at a discount, would have cost about the same as I paid for it AND an Xbox. What I didn’t realize, though, is that I got a SPECIAL BONUS prize not even mentioned in the auction: ten digital tracks of what I assume is the top of the top of contemporary white suburban trash metal. The person from whom I got the Xbox did not bother to name his custom soundtrack, so I have renamed it “NOOOOOOO!” for my further convenience. Somehow I cannot bear to throw things away (especially if they’re free and special, as this soundtrack so clearly is), so it remains on the drive.

Although I have no clue what I’m doing, I begin to understand the appeal of the recent Grand Theft Auto games. I was vaguely familiar with the first two. They were silly and kind of dumb. Mister Lemming And Company really did something else with GTA3, though. It is hard to wrap my brain around how much work went into the most unlikely details. In Vice City (which, from about an hour’s play, I don’t enjoy as much), I spent more time listening to a seemingly-endless parody of public radio than I did running people over. Now that’s entertainment!

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is… reminiscent of a BioWare game. It is, alas, more contrived and a bit less flexible than I expected, yet the portion I have experienced is not without joy. For its part. I wish I could say the same of JSRF. I did not wish to believe what I had heard — as the trailers made the game seem so pretty! And Hideki Naganuma is not a man to argue with. And the soundtrack contains the remix of Guitar Vader’s “I Love Love You”! I mean. How could the game go wrong? By not being fun, I guess. What happened here?

Well, I know what happened. Or I know how the game feels about what happened, whatever it is that happened. I won’t get into that at the moment, however.

Sega GT is a car game. I don’t understand car games. I set it to play Oingo Boingo while I crash my realistic car all over a series of vaguely attractive race tracks, lose money, and slowly crawl into video poverty. I am sure this must entertain someone.

And. That is all I will say on that matter, for the moment.

Wait, no it isn’t. When I first began to play Vice City, I tried to be a nice guy — and yet I did not quite understand the controls. I wound up punching a hooker in the face. This seemed to excite my mother (who had lingered nearby, out of curiosity) to no end. She yelled at me: “Hit her again! Hit her!” When I complied, this still was inadequate. “There’s another one! Hit her!” I planted my character’s foot into the face of a hooker ascending a flight of stairs. The hooker flew in a slow, steep arc and crashed to the landing below, in a pool of blood. Money scattered everywhere. “THINGS!” my mother cried. “GET THE THINGS!”

I’m not sure I have a comment for that.