{"id":6039,"date":"2019-06-03T10:05:50","date_gmt":"2019-06-03T14:05:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/?p=6039"},"modified":"2020-12-12T22:00:11","modified_gmt":"2020-12-13T03:00:11","slug":"social-alarms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/2019\/06\/social-alarms\/","title":{"rendered":"Social Alarms"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"initial-letter\">\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap wp-block-paragraph\">So the shit is, with the emotional defenses I&#8217;ve leaned on most of my life, the only people who tend to get through the barriers I&#8217;ve set up are those: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>With superficial charm <\/li><li>With no sense of boundaries <\/li><li>Who refuse to take &#8220;no&#8221; for an answer <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kind of a big failure there. One of my big projects this year, I think I&#8217;m going to have to map out a re-wire of my whole social alarm system. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">End effect of my current setup, the people who&#8217;ve gotten close enough to have a controlling influence on my life have tended to be aspirational boomers. Like, they see everything as an acquisition and the world as a game to be won. Life is theirs to claim on a whim, and whatever may stand in the way of a want is the cruelest form of oppression. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;m not really into acquiring things (aside from irregularly adding to media libraries, but I don&#8217;t see <em>ideas <\/em>as things so much), or winning&#8230; much of anything. And I don&#8217;t understand most burning desires. So I guess this makes me a perfect foil, until they start to feel foiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Since I&#8217;m not a person in their eyes as much as a erroneous order in this service industry we call life, this leads to a constant state of &#8220;I want to speak to the manager,&#8221; and this cycle of abuse while I scramble and fail to do what apparently is expected of me in situations like this. They tend to assume everyone thinks like them, so I could only be messing up so badly on purpose to fuck with them, as part of my own twisted agenda. And, how dare I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anybody with an ounce of sense or sensitivity tends to, you know, leave me alone. But maybe, the sensible and sensitive are the people I&#8217;d less mind if they didn&#8217;t. Because most of my idea of relating to others, it&#8217;s been shaped by people in that first category, which is what&#8217;s made me so paranoid about others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not everybody is that awful. Heck, <em>most <\/em>people aren&#8217;t. It&#8217;s only the people who I can&#8217;t chase away so easily. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There&#8217;s also the detail about trusting myself and not giving in where it feels wrong, not compromising my own values to whoever has the stronger personality. Which has always been a problem. But, you know. If you&#8217;re gonna build safety filters, might as well make sure to calibrate them right.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So the shit is, with the emotional defenses I&#8217;ve leaned on most of my life, the only people who tend to get through the barriers I&#8217;ve set up are those: With superficial charm With no sense of boundaries Who refuse to take &#8220;no&#8221; for an answer Kind of a big failure there. One of my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"0","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"off","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[1100,1103,1104],"class_list":["post-6039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-identity","tag-relationships","tag-self-improvement","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6039"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6039\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6053,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6039\/revisions\/6053"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aderack.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}